The Dating Dope

OK, so I just got home from my date with Robert — and it was amazing! He actually took me to my favorite sushi place — without even knowing it! At points, it seemed like he could almost read my mind. He’s cute, smart and seems like a really nice guy. I really don’t want to get my hopes up, but I really think he could be the one! I’m really glad my cheapskate nature drew me to the free weekend at Chemistry.com, or I never would have met him. We talked about travel, movies, food and our families — neither law nor medicine came up once which was really nice. After only one date, I really feel like I got to know him.

After dinner we went to a nice jazz bar for a drink, and I really did enjoy his company. I think I could really like this guy, but I’m waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Maybe he is married. Maybe he is gay. Whenever something good arises, the pessimist in me comes out. Well, I’m going to think positive thoughts. He said he has a busy few days at school coming up, but he would call me soon. He better!

Corey

Hi everyone, my name is Corey. I’m a 23 year old girl, and I am just starting my third year of law school at a university somewhere in the Northeast (i’m not going to tell exactly where!). OK, my name isn’t actually Corey — all names on here have been changed to protect the innocent (or guilty, as the case may be). I’ve always wanted to write a blog (as if I don’t have enough writing to do as a 3L), and I couldn’t resist the invitation by DatingDope’s owners to write about my dating travails. I’ve been told I am a nice looking girl, I stay in shape and guys (pigs) are always staring at my boobs — so why am I still single? My dates seem like one disaster after the next, and sometimes I feel that I’ll never meet a decent guy.

I’m not asking for much — just a very smart, successful guy who is also good looking, dresses well, has manners and can look me in the eyes instead of my chest as we talk. OK, maybe that is asking a lot. But I refuse to settle!! My last five dates consisted of an egotistical bastard, a geek with a runny nose, a guy who wanted to talk about his last girlfriend all night, a troglodyte with an IQ hovering around room temperature and a guy who asked me to split the check with him at Bennigans. I don’t know what possessed me to accept these dates when asked, or why I attract such losers. Maybe I’m just a dating dope. Part of the reason I want to post here (in addition to the catharsis it provides) is to elicit suggestions from all of you readers on what I’m doing wrong. I am starting to get desperate here!

I have a date with — we’ll call him Robert — this weekend. He found me on Chemistry.com (I’m a cheapskate, I used it during their “free weekend” last weekend!), and he is a 25 year old medical school student. He definitely seems smart, his pictures appear cute — but I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ll let everyone know how it goes — wish me luck!

This clip dates back to just after World War 2, and it illustrates how far we’ve come when it comes to dating and relationships. This young man gets a good bit of dating advice — starting with the admonition he should avoid asking out girls who are conceited or easily distracted. These days, that would prove to be quite limiting. Advice comes from the unseen announcer, his slick older brother and his concerned mother. Times certainly were simpler, and his stress builds as he dials her up on the family’s rotary phone. Lucky for him the rapidity of texting had yet to be invented.

Imagine transporting one of these characters from a half century ago into today’s frenetic world along with current dating norms. The lesson depicts him being a bit too shy and getting a rejection, and more amusingly being aggressive in terms of the norms of the day and similarly getting rejected. What was classified as being cocky back then would almost quality as being timid today. When he finally strikes a balance between self-deprecation and a sense of confidence he finally is able to score a date — maybe there are lessons from this clip which are still applicable today. Times may change, but deep down girls still look for the same things.