The Dating Dope

What does it mean to, “Take it slow”? When you are in a new relationship you might be tempted to go to the next level, but what if your significant other wants to slow things down? What does that mean? Does it mean the same thing to everyone? Check out 10 definitions of taking it slow.

Let’s still see other people: This may be more a fear of commitment than taking it slow. If your significant other wants to continue to see other people then there may be more going on there. If you are good with seeing other people for now and not getting into a heavy relationship then great, but if you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right then you really need to clarify things.

Let’s wait on sex: Traditionally I think this is one of the main points of taking things slowly. One or both of you want to make sure that this relationship is right before jumping into bed. In this day in age with all of the diseases that you can catch from not being safe, it’s a good idea to know who you are sleeping with.

I want more romance: Another idea of taking it slow is that you want to be more old- fashioned and bring back the romance. There is nothing wrong with bringing a woman a flower or flowers. It’s sweet to just hold hands and spend some time getting to know each other. You can always speed things up if the time seems right to both of you, but it’s hard to go from sleeping together to just holding hands. Seems a bit backward.

Sleeping together with no sex: Some people think taking it slow is to not rush into sex, but sleeping in the same bed is fine. If this is fine with both parties then that’s great, but it might not be everyone’s idea of taking it slow. It takes a lot of trust to sleep with someone and not know what they are doing while you are sleeping. You might still want to know someone pretty well before you have a sleepover.

3-5 dates before becoming exclusive: To some taking it slow isn’t really as slow as you might think. If you are used to sleeping together on the first date I supposed waiting for a few more dates before you sleep together is taking slowly. Just make sure that you are both on the same page on the relationship. If she is pushing you to have sex and you want to wait so that you don’t mess things up, then let her know that.

I’m not that into you sexually: Of course no one is going to tell you this straight out. But it might be the reason behind wanting to take it slow. Especially with women, once they get to know a man better they will trust him enough to tell him what makes her tick in bed. If she is not blown away by you sexually at the beginning she may just want to ease into it a bit.

She’s not that into sex: Taking it slow could mean that she wants to be friends first and then if things progress she might be ready for sex later. Some women aren’t that into sex or they are really shy about their bodies and they want to make sure they can trust the guy thoroughly before getting naked with him.

You might be, “The One”: Sometimes when people meet someone so special that they start thinking that they might be “the one” for them then they might want to slow things down. You want to be sure if you think this might be the last person you ever sleep with. Rushing into things might spoil the romance of the whole courtship.

I want to get to know you better: Sex throws a whole new aspect into a relationship. Everything changes and instead of anticipating and being excited you’re all, been there-done that. If more people waited, we might have fewer divorces.

I don’t want to get hurt again: To some, having sex is a very emotional thing and for women especially this connection often leads to attachment. If you’ve jumped into the sack too quickly in past relationships and they just end in failure then taking it slow could just mean that this time I want things to be different. I don’t want to get hurt again. I want to be sure. This is the smart way to go in my opinion.

Article courtesy of Best Dating Sites

Online dating is a crowded and cluttered pool, full of great and not-so-great catches. But what can a man do to stand out from the rest of the fish? What do women really look for on men’s online profiles? Well, here are the top three things women look for first. If men can cover these three things well, they will greatly increase their chances of finding a perfect match, or at least a normal date.

Good Picture – This may sound superficial, but women want a handsome man just as much as men want a beautiful woman. The difference here is that our definitions of attractive may vary. Most women are not looking at the size of your chest, your abs, or your hind end. They are looking at your face. The way you hold yourself. The look in your eyes. I’m not encouraging a ‘smolder’, but an authentic, clear picture is worth a thousand words. So you may be a little thick or you haven’t cleared up all your acne or you wear glasses. So what? I’d rather see that than some vague, off-centered webcam shot or a distant photo of you on a hillside somewhere. Besides, what good does it do for you to hide what you look like in the long run? You will have to meet them in person sometime if you are really looking for a relationship. Clear away the overly-superficial now, but don’t frighten away the normal people with an odd profile picture.

Confident but Not Arrogant – Your online profile should say a lot about you. One thing woman think: if you aren’t willing to put in the time to fill it out, then you aren’t willing to put in the time to create significant relationships either. But how do you fill out all those sentimental questions without scaring women away? Simple. Be confident, but not arrogant. You can talk about yourself. This is the place to do it. I don’t want to read a profile about how great your pastimes are or your dog; I want to read about you. But don’t go too far. I don’t want to read a list of medals you’ve won, the kilometers you’ve run, or the mountains you’ve climbed. Sure, you can reference them, in passing, but don’t make that the center of your profile. Perfect the balance of confident and strong without being overwhelming and prideful.

Deliberate – Last but not least; be clear in what you want. If you are only interested in sexy, skinny woman with big breasts, say that. It’s not politically correct, but I’d rather check you off the list now than try to talk to you and find it out later. You might even get one of those women to flirt with you; you never know. Maybe you’re not that extreme, but you do desire women who are shorter than you or like sports or dogs or something reasonable. Say it. Even if I’m not that type, I’ll admire you for knowing what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. Women would be better off if we did the same thing.

These three things are just little glimpses in what’s going on in a woman’s head. Women look for so many things at once that it’s not even amusing. You can’t hope to ace them all. But you can start out on the right foot by making sure you get these three things right. There are normal woman out there. The more practical and assured you are in your own profile, the more normal responses you’ll get. One last thing: if you’re not online regularly, don’t expect to get a lot of responses. You have to put time and effort in to get quality stuff out. If that’s not going to work for you, I suggest going back to the single’s bars.

Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for dating sites. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating community. She can be reached at edwardsmary936 AT gmail.com.

It’s no secret that maintaining a long-distance relationship requires a huge amount of work and dedication. Whether it’s the result of deployment, relocation or an online romance, being separated from one another can be the most difficult things a couple ever goes through. Here are some tips to help make the separation more bearable.

Stay Positive – Fight the temptation to hunker down with an MP3 player full of sad songs and a bottle of wine. Instead, try to concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship.

Focus On Future Plans – When the pressure of being separated gets to be a bit too much, it helps to focus on the future. Whether it’s the next meeting or the big picture, thinking about what you’re working towards and waiting for can make it all seem worthwhile.

Get Out of the House – Go out. Go to the park or a museum, out for a walk or to dinner with friends. Doing something fun will keep your mind off the separation and will give you something to talk about the next time you’re on the phone.

Get a Hobby – All too often, adults let hobbies and pastimes fall to the wayside in the tedium of work and day to day responsibilities. Recapturing the joy of a hobby can be a great way to relieve stress from many aspects of your life, not to mention offer an enjoyable distraction for the times when talking to your guy just isn’t feasible.

Cultivate Your Own Interests – It’s so easy to be influenced by the likes and dislikes of a significant other that sometimes we lose sight of our own interests. Even if it’s as simple as watching a movie that your honey wouldn’t have much desire to see, using the time apart as a way to keep your own interests alive can make the separation seem shorter.

Trust Him – Trust can be an issue in any relationship, but it’s definitely compounded when there are miles between you. Making an effort to maintain trust in your relationship is arguably the most important aspect of keeping a long-distance relationship strong; there’s no question that it makes those long nights alone easier to bear.

Be Realistic About Communication – There are going to be days when even a short conversation simply isn’t feasible, especially if you’re in different time zones. Having rigid expectations about how often you speak can put a huge amount of pressure on your relationship. Instead, try to look at every conversation as a pleasant surprise.

Invest in a Web Cam – Sometimes a telephone just isn’t enough, even if the conversation lasts for hours. Being able to see your sweetie will do wonders for your morale, so a web cam might be the most powerful weapon at your disposal.

Start an Exercise Regimen – Exercise releases mood-boosting endorphins and fosters an all-around feeling of well being, so building a workout routine might be another way to combat the stress of separation.

Form a Support System – Even having just one friend that can identify with your situation can go a long way. Your friends are vitally important, and can help keep you grounded.

Though it can sometimes feel like it will never end, remember that the separation won’t last forever. Staying as optimistic as possible and keeping the end goal in sight will help, as will having a clear plan for the future. Though it may be difficult, try to treasure the time you have to yourself and avoid worrying about things that can’t be changed immediately.

More Dating Articles like this available at Best Dating Sites.