10 Lies You’ll Hear About Dating

Wed, Sep 30, 2009

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Here are the top ten dating lies:

Lie #10:  Dating is about playing around

Most people go about dating like they’re shopping for a new pair of shoes.  They try out each one and discard it if they’re not satisfied.  Reality check:  Unlike shoes, people who are stepped on get hurt.

Lie #9:  You’ll immediately know once you find the right person

I guess lie number 10 is variation of this lie.  People are not vampires or Duncan MacLeod (the immortal from “Highlander,”) who’ll just feel and “know” that someone like them is around.  We, normal people, have to actually get to know each other to find out for sure if there’s a connection or not.  This means spending a good chunk of quality time with each other–a few drinks at the bar won’t cut it.

Lie #8:  Dating for a long time makes you an expert on dating

Hmmm… still dating after a long time?  This probably means you don’t have any idea about what you’re doing or what the purpose of what you’re doing is.  Maybe what you’re really doing is just having flings or trying to be a Don Juan.  If this sounds like you, please don’t feel like you can give worthwhile advice to people who want to go on real dates.

Lie #7:  Every good potential match is already taken

If you believe this is true, then why are you even dating?  I wouldn’t line up to eat scraps from someone else’s table, and I’m definitely not a left-over.  Are you?

Lie #6:  Girls shouldn’t call  guys first after a first date

If you want to meet up with a friend, you pick up the phone and give him or her a call.  If you like someone and you want to meet up with him or her, you should do the same.  It’s foolish and hypocritical not to do so, and that’s not a good start to building an open and lasting relationship.

Lie #5:  Attending a lot of social events is the best way to get a date

Social events provide a good venue to meet people, but are not usually a good venue to get to know people.  It would only be a good way to get a date if, for example, the event is something you’re really interested in.  You might find someone you can see eye-to-eye with.  Next, the event will have to provide enough time for people to actually go around and get to know each other.  If you can locate such events, then sure.  Anything that helps to skip the small talk and get to the substance is at least worth investigating.

Lie #4:  You’ll find the right person without looking

This is just as crazy as lie #5.  The fact is you still have to be out there.  You don’t have to go around everywhere, but you do have to make an effort to get to know others.  You have to be open enough socially to allow other people the opportunity of finding you.

Lie #3:  Everything will go smoothly once you find someone

Attraction is one thing, but being in a relationship is quite another.  It is true, however, that it’s not a good idea to hook up with someone whom you aren’t the least bit attracted to.  Attraction is the first thing that makes you interested in someone, whether it’s because of their brains or good looks and character.  However, if things get serious and then major differences and obstacles emerge, attraction won’t be enough to overcome them.

Lie #2:  Finding the right person will fix everything else in your life

I think anyone who believes this should go to their psychologist instead of on a date.  If you can’t fix yourself, no one else can.  Plus, it’s a rotten thing to do to go around looking for someone to carry your burdens for you.  Don’t you have friends to help you through that?  If you don’t, you should find one first, before you look for a life partner.  You won’t be ready to embark on a serious, intimate relationship until you do.

Lie #1:  Dating is all about you

Not only in the realm of dating, but in many other areas in life people seem to think the world revolves about them. Unfortunately, in all cases, the idea that “no man is an island” holds true.  Everything you do will ultimately affect others.  Your parents, your friends, your “maybe” partner—they will all be affected.  True, you will ultimately have to be the one to make final choices about what you do, but hear out the other people in your life who will be affected by your decisions before you make them.

Learn from these 10 dating lies.  Know yourself and start dating smart.

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14 Responses to “10 Lies You’ll Hear About Dating”

  1. Jackman Says:

    You’ll find the right person without looking.

    This is so true in my case buddy. Oh well, if this is considered to be one of the lies, I guess it all boils down to one’s personal experience.

    Reply

  2. Obando Says:

    Finding the right person will fix everything else in your life.

    This is fucking sick. You can fix yourself without having to depend to other people. Key is learn to love yourself first.

    Reply

  3. Man Hater Says:

    Everything will go smoothly once you find someone . I’d rather say roughly! Don’t fall into trap like this kind of thinking. Boys suck and forever will be!

    Reply

  4. Summer Says:

    Attending a lot of social events is the best way to get a date, actually to get laid!

    Reply

  5. Perry Says:

    You’ll definitely know once you find the right person. This is bullshit. You need time to get to know the person first. Know one’s strengths and weaknesses, ups and downs, and the list goes on.

    Reply

  6. Bumped Says:

    Dating is about hooking up and getting laid. Simple fact.

    Reply

  7. The Single One Says:

    #9 is the only one I’m still hung up on. I’m learning not to fall for the guys that I’m instantly attracted to. But, how much time do you give someone if you’re waiting for that spark to occur? My rule is three dates. If on the third date I don’t feel a connection with the man in some way, then I move on. Is that fair?
    .-= The Single One´s last blog ..Chubby is the New Thin =-.

    Reply

    • admin Says:

      I’d say three dates sounds about right, so long as they’re quality dates–in the sense that you spend a good chunk of them talking.

      Reply

  8. The Single One Says:

    I made an error entering my email address. It’s been corrected on this comment.
    .-= The Single One´s last blog ..Chubby is the New Thin =-.

    Reply

  9. Patrick Says:

    Lie #4. Socialize buddy. You’ll never find the one if you just stay around that 4 corner of your room.

    Reply

  10. Richard Says:

    Dating and finding the right one are some of the most complex things we do in our lives… its not simple!
    Married dating site for those looking for a married affair, or in a relationship,
    and looking for a marital affair or married dating.
    http://www.marriedaffair.co.uk

    Reply

  11. James Says:

    Lie#6
    A definite lie.
    How many times I heard from women I know that they won’t be the first ones to call, trying to convince them otherwise not always worked.
    .-= James´s last blog ..How Dating Has Changed Over The Years =-.

    Reply


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