Whether or not you have any tolerance for some small fibs in online dating profiles, the fact is that it happens. A lot. A recent study from Michigan State University found that 90% of people lie in their profiles for online dating. This sounds like an extremely high number, but consider that most of the fudging was minor. Men typically altered their height by a small number of inches while women changed their weight by a few pounds. Most of the inconsistencies were within the range where it was hard to detect the differences face to face compared to the profile pictures.
What was more interesting is that it seemed to have a good effect and for one main reason, and that is we are bad at predicting what we will ultimately be attracted to. The study showed that people who had filled out preferences in a partner before a speed dating event ended up clicking with people that did not match those preferences at all.
Going back to dating profiles, this means that people who filter by certain characteristics thinking they can predict what they will like in a partner are usually not accurate. So there can be an argument made that it is better to alter some minor details in order to be included in more commonly filtered dating searches. The one searching may not know what will ultimately be good for them and they need to have more people included in their search results to have a better chance to find a match.
What do you think? Is it ok to give ourselves these small improvements on our profiles to have a better chance of getting to that in-person spark? Or is any misrepresentation, no matter how small, a bad basis to start things with?
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July 31st, 2010 at 8:38 am
Well, considering everyone tells those little white lies, it’s pretty hard to avoid. I think most of us do it on profiles not even thinking twice about it, b/c most of us actually believe what we are putting like “confident, independent, outgoing”…these are things we wish we were and might even think we are but most really aren’t. I can’t remember if I’ve ever fibbed. I would def. try hard as hell not to because I mean, it would be pretty obvious when I met the person and then it would just be an embarrassing dissappoinment.
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July 31st, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Is it really a lie if you actually believe it, though? Right on about not telling lies relating to things that are going to be obvious as soon as someone meets you. I mean that’s just ridiculous, not to mention stupid.
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