Does It Matter Where You Meet Someone?

Thu, May 20, 2010

Articles

When it comes to long term relationships, people are often split into two groups on this question. On the one hand, there are those who believe that it is best to meet someone when you least expect it, like when you are doing your laundry or at the post office. Others do not put as much importance on the circumstances of the first meeting, and do not think it is negative at all to have met at a bar or a speed dating event, for instance. When you look closer at each approach to the question, some interesting points arise.

For those that believe in serendipity and want an out-of-the-blue encounter while going about their day, fate is often a motivating force. Bumping shopping carts in the supermarket, for example, makes it much easier to think that you and the person were meant to be. In a lot of ways, however, this puts too much focus on how you met and not enough on what comes after.

Those who would just as soon find a long term partner at a bar or on a blind date recognize that there is work and effort that must be put into a healthy relationship, and this comes after the initial meeting. The real fate is in the chemistry between the two people, and that either exists or it does not, regardless of the meeting circumstances.

If you are ready to take control of your relationship situation and have been waiting for the “perfect” situation in which to meet someone, it might be time to rethink things. Recognize that you must be open to finding out whether there is a chemistry connection and that there is effort that goes in after that point, and finding the right person will not be so dependent on the proverbial “right place, right time.”

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