How To Know You’ve Moved On From A Breakup

Wed, Apr 14, 2010

Articles

We have all heard plenty of advice about getting over a relationship, from getting involved with old hobbies to writing in a journal to going on vacation. A lot of the advice is helpful, but how do you know when it has completely worked? In other words, how do you know when you are ready to date again? These three indicators might help you out.

You Stop Comparing People To Your Ex

When you are in a relationship, especially a close one, everything is filtered through your partner. The jokes, language, and tastes you shared become a kind of shared culture through which you both see the world. Fresh off a breakup, you will still be seeing through that lens and it will make you compare everything to your ex. Similarities as well as differences you pick out in people are signs that it is all still filtered through that. When this feeling goes away, and you get back your own system of evaluating things without reference to the ex, you will know your identity is back and you are ready to date.

You Come To Terms With Your Time Together

Moving on does not mean you delete the person out of your mind altogether. Getting perspective and appreciating the time together in a healthy way is part of the moving forward process. It is a question of whether you can focus on the good times without dwelling on the fact that there will not be any more, or that you could have done more. When these feelings of sadness or loneliness stop coming up when you reflect on the relationship, you are good to go.

Have You Moved On Sexually?

This can be the hardest step for a lot of people. Pay attention to your sexual imagination. Like the comparison issue, do you always relate sexual fantasies or desires to experiences you had with the ex? If so, try to notice if it interferes with fantasizing about new people. You want to get to the point where your desires are focused on new experiences or other fancies unrelated to your ex.

You always want to be in a healthy place when going into new dating situations. There are many techniques out there to get over a split, but it is just as important to pay attention to your progress in using these techniques. If you are honest with yourself and keep working at it, you will know when you are ready and be much better off when you do get back out there.

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8 Responses to “How To Know You’ve Moved On From A Breakup”

  1. Zsazsa Says:

    I just realized I haven’t moved on yet. This serves as a wake up call. Damn, I miss my ex this much!

    Reply

  2. Wentworth Says:

    I can say I’ve pretty much moved on. I’m happy with my life now, no bitterness at all and got managed to stay positively. Life is good afterall.

    Reply

  3. Paula Says:

    My current boyfriend keeps comparing me to his ex gf and the same way goes to me that I keep mentioning my ex bf. No biggie. We both haven’t moved on big time! LOL

    Reply

  4. Paula Says:

    My fantasies at my ex wasn’t over yet. I still think of him when I make love with my current bf. How can I move on? My ex is far better off in bed btw.

    Reply

  5. MrRight.com.au Says:

    You know you’ve moved on when you stop worrying about who you ex might be seeing!
    MrRight.com.au´s last blog post ..What Women Want in a Man

    Reply

  6. ms.lil_confused-_- Says:

    its been three years since we broke up.. im confused if i moved on already.. sometimes (not most of the time) if i got the chance to see him, i have the a very little feeling of regret.. like i should have done something..or i dunno.. -___-

    — but i am happy with my current life now.. i have a boyfriend who’s so good to me.. and i dont want to let him go.. but there were some instances that my past feelings kept interfering.. gaaaah.! damn.. :X

    Reply


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