The Dating Dope

What constantly surprises me is the lack of effort people put into their dating lives (both men and women). They will spend 12-14 years in school and 4 years in college to get a good job, but they will invest almost no time in improving their love lives.

Crazy, huh? A recent relationship survey showed that to most women, their husband or partner is more important to them than their job. Yet they have spent almost no time discovering the important things to catch and keep a great man:

-> What it is that attracts a great guy.
-> How to keep him faithful.
-> How to get him to invest in a relationship.

Think about that for a minute. When was the last time you sat down and figured out what you needed to do to find and keep a man that was attractive, charming and someone you would like to introduce to your friends?

Most single girls answered that they just needed to be a little thinner, dress a little better or be in better shape. This is great advice if you are just looking for a man who wants sex and doesn’t particularly care about you or how you feel.

But what about finding a man that does care about you? A man that wants to spend time with you. A man that doesn’t want the date to end. A man that feels a pang of jealousy when he sees you with anyone but him?

This is where good looks will not help you. He may pretend that he likes you just so he can get you into bed one more time. But what about the guy who isn’t only concerned with hanging out after 9pm? What about the guy who just wants to spend time with you?

Like I said before, this is where your looks will not help you. But what you do and say will.

Because most women never invest the time and energy into learning what it is that captivates a man and makes him crave you, there are only a few that truly know the secret of catching and keeping a man’s heart.

I once met a girl that knew how to capture a man’s heart. She was amazing. Every time I saw her, I felt a little dizzy. Every kiss felt better than the last. And every time we had sex, I was in heaven.

Needless to say, when she left me I was truly heartbroken. It’s been over 2 years and I still haven’t met anyone that comes close to her.

Below you’ll find some of the dating advice that guests have written for the site. It’s certainly nowhere near as helpful as the information that you’ll find in the book, but hopefully you’ll be able to find some useful tips in there.

Let’s be real for a minute. There is not one perfect piece of dating advice for women to fix your love life and find the man of your dreams. Luckily there are some really great things you can start doing now to increase you success with men and give yourself the best possible chance of finding the man of your dreams.

Not just advice for attracting men, but getting into great, long- lasting relationships with guys too.

At the end of this page there are more articles with dating advice for women, but for now there is some core information that you always need to keep in mind when either flirting and chatting with guys or when you are in a relationship with them.

1. Get a life

What does this mean exactly? Make sure you take care of your life and your needs first. Make sure that your health, job/school and other relationships are in order.
Guys may be attracted to you because of your looks, which can be great, but if the rest of your life is a train wreck then any potential relationship will not last.

On top of this, you will have other things going on in your life, which leads us to…

2. Do not drop anything for a guy

So you met the guy of your dreams last weekend. Now he wants to hang out on Wednesday evening. But you already organized to go for drinks with the girls on Wednesday evening. You may want to ditch the girls and go on a date with this guy. But and there is a big but….

Dropping everything for a guy is not attractive. Guys may appreciate it for a date or two. But they will quickly grow bored of you because you just become like every other girl to him. This is why having an active social life is so important. This is a really conuter-intuitive bit of dating advice for women, but have fatih, it works! Remember how you really wanted that one guy because you could never get his full attention? He was a challenge….

3. Be a challenge

Guys like girls that they have to chase after. They value girls they have to catch more than pushovers.

Imagine the Super Bowl (strange analogy, but please listen). It’s the ultimate prize for a football player. They spend all of high school and college just to have the chance to make a team that might never even make it to the Super Bowl. It’s incredibly tough and 99.99% of football players never make it. But for the ones that do, it’s the ultimate prize. They value it because it’s a challenge. They don’t value football socks as much because you can get them in a shop or borrow them.

You need to be the Super Bowl, not just another pair of stinky football socks, lol!

So in the dating world, that means you have to make men work hard to win you over. You need to be a challenge and we all know that men love challenges

4. Have standards

Being a challenge is one thing, but having standards is another. Just because a guy is cute, rich, captain of his high school football team or has a great job does not mean you should start dating him.

Yes you may be attracted to him and enjoy flirting with him, but if you know he is a player, then your best bet is to stay away unless you are happy to be tossed aside for the next girl he wants.

There are two things you need to do.

First does he respect you? Is he the kind of guy that will treat you properly or will he just tell his friends about every detail?

Then you will probably be wondering is her attracted to you. Check out the article for some great tips to know the signs to look out for if he is attracted to you.

5. Do not treat him as your emotional sponge*

Maybe you had a bad day at work or had a fight with your family. The most unattractive thing you can do is to pour out all your feelings thinking it will get the guy you want.

Sure guys are logical and want to fix things. But at the start of a relationship, unloading all your problems onto a guy is not smart. It smells of ‘help fix my problems, I can’t do it myself’.

This is probably the harshest bit of dating advice for women you’ll hear, but sometimes you really have to work hard to make a relationship work.

(*This is super important at the start of any relationship but less so as it becomes more serious)

6. Do not reward bad behavior

If a guy cancels a date with you without a decent reason or teases you too much in front of his/your friends, the worst thing you can do is smile and laugh.
He needs to know when he has stepped over the line. There is no need to throw your drink at him. But ignore him for a little bit. If it happens again, you need to tell him straight up when you are alone that you are walking if he ever tries it again.

It might sound harsh or mean. Well that’s because it is. But relationships aren’t always a breeze. The good ones take work and not rewarding bad behavior is probably the most imposrtant point to take from this dating advice for women.

7. Let him open up when he wants to

Ever wonder what he’s thinking about.

“How come he never tells me how he feels?”

Here’s the thing. If a guy is truly mad about you, then he will open up when he is ready.

Prodding and pleading with him to open up about his feelings will get him doing the exact opposite (the scientific term is cognitive dissonance folks). If he does open up it’s only because he felt forced to and will resent you for it.

8. Be real

Everybody has an ideal version of themselves that they would like other people to see. They hope that the guy they are trying to attract sees them this way too. Perfect beauty, perfect life.

You’re not the only one. Guys do this too. They act macho and like to pretend that every girl wants them.

It’s okay to present yourself as perfect for the first few dates but if you feel like you have to always be ‘on’ then you will put unneeded stress on yourself. This is probably the most important of all the dating advice for women that you can use if you want your relationships to last in the long term.

Added to this, the guy you are with will start to notice cracks and slowly start questioning whether or not you are who you say you are.

So you need to be real when flirting, chatting and dating guys. If they don’t like you for who you are then don’t bother with them.

Does this mean I should tell them about my problems straight away.

HELL NO!

Just don’t desperately try to hide every single little and imperfection and blemish.

BE REAL

Hope you enjoyed this introduction to dating advice for women!

He’s Got Talent

Whether it’s his guitar-playing ability, his handyman expertise or penchant for photography, women love a man who has a passion and is good at it. There’s something very alluring about a lively, interesting guy with skills!

His Listening Ability

Guys, maybe we impress easily, but the fact that you actually remember how we order our lattes or that our favorite writer’s new novel is out is a huge deal! A guy who hears us and remembers our favorite things is extremely sexy. The ability to just listen and not necessarily give us direction is also a bonus.

Smarty Pants

Long after the looks fade, there’s a trait that can keep us in love forever. It’s called intelligence. A man who’s got that has a big advantage in life and love.

A Great Smile

In the physical realm, we all prefer different body types and sizes. One thing most women agree upon and notice immediately is a guy with a genuine smile. Having nice teeth is also a bonus. This tells us that he takes good care of himself!

Kindness

He’s sweet to animals. He’s great with kids. He’s thoughtful and loving with his friends and family. This is a fantastic indicator that he will be good to us as well, and why kindness is a very desirable trait.

Humor Us

Laughter is the best therapy for dealing with life’s harsher moments. Being with a guy who has an excellent sense of humor and can also find the funny during tough times is a real find – and needless to say, sexy.

Confidence

Ask any woman what makes a guy sexy and the collective answer is “confidence.” A man who is self-assured and knows what he wants is admirable and makes us feel secure when we are with him.

Eye Contact

Many women commented that a man who could look her in the eye was the definition of sincere and sexy. Now, a guy with great eyes who isn’t afraid to look into ours can make us a little weak in the knees. We love connection.

Drama Who?!

A guy who has got it all figured out – and doesn’t come bearing lots of drama, exes, or other issues, is refreshing, impressive and very appealing.

Voice

David Beckham is lucky he’s got great looks, because his voice … not so sexy. An average-looking guy with an amazing voice can increase his sexy ranking a few notches. Throw an accent in there and they are golden in our eyes!

So you’ve been dating a while, and things are going really well between you two. You think you might have finally found that special someone. You’ve got lots in common, enjoy one another’s company like no one else you’ve ever met, and are thinking about taking that next step. Hold on.

Fact is, far too many couples head down the aisle without knowing all the things they really need to in order to have a sound foundation for their marriage.  The following are 10 things you need to know before proposing, or answering ‘yes’:

1. Family Matters – Whether you like it or not, you’re marrying into a family, and family does indeed matter.  Know ahead of time whether you’re all going to get along.
2. Children – If either of you already has kids, you’ve got more than one relationship to build on. If neither of you is a parent, discuss whether (and when) you’d like to start a family of your own. Don’t expect these things to sort themselves out after taking the vows.
3. Money Matters – Financial issues are one of the chief causes of marital strife. How well do you handle money, and how well do you know your partner’s track record regarding finances?
4. Religion/Spirituality – If you don’t share the same views about religion, and are taking a live-and-let-live approach to your differences, it could become an issue later if you do decide to raise children.
5. Career Goals – Two-income families are the norm in these economic times; so with the likelihood that you will both have jobs, consider whether they will create conflict for your future together.
6. Know Your Partner’s Shortcomings (and whether you can live with them) – Face it, neither of you is perfect; but hoping that he or she will change after saying “I do” is a recipe for failure.
7. Friends/Social Lives – Married life takes commitment and compromise, and it’s not always easy for a partner to give up every aspect of their single life. Can you both strike a healthy balance between marriage and your single friends?
8. Sex – This is another area that can cause big trouble down the road, in a couple of different ways. Marriage is often assumed to be a monogamous sexual relationship for the rest of your lives. Are you both in agreement that this is what you want and are committing too?
9. Wedding Plans – Although this is a subject usually left for discussion after the engagement, it can save a lot of strife later if you’ve got an idea what each other wants beforehand.
10. Geography – Whether or not you live in the same area now, it’s a good idea to talk about where you’d both like to live in the long haul.

There’s no sure-fire blueprint to marital bliss, but going in with eyes wide-open and communicating with one another are an absolute must for the success of any marriage.

(Article originally published at Best Dating Sites.)