The Top 3 Things Women Look For in Online Dating

Tue, Nov 29, 2011


Online dating is a crowded and cluttered pool, full of great and not-so-great catches. But what can a man do to stand out from the rest of the fish? What do women really look for on men’s online profiles? Well, here are the top three things women look for first. If men can cover these three things well, they will greatly increase their chances of finding a perfect match, or at least a normal date.

Good Picture – This may sound superficial, but women want a handsome man just as much as men want a beautiful woman. The difference here is that our definitions of attractive may vary. Most women are not looking at the size of your chest, your abs, or your hind end. They are looking at your face. The way you hold yourself. The look in your eyes. I’m not encouraging a ‘smolder’, but an authentic, clear picture is worth a thousand words. So you may be a little thick or you haven’t cleared up all your acne or you wear glasses. So what? I’d rather see that than some vague, off-centered webcam shot or a distant photo of you on a hillside somewhere. Besides, what good does it do for you to hide what you look like in the long run? You will have to meet them in person sometime if you are really looking for a relationship. Clear away the overly-superficial now, but don’t frighten away the normal people with an odd profile picture.

Confident but Not Arrogant – Your online profile should say a lot about you. One thing woman think: if you aren’t willing to put in the time to fill it out, then you aren’t willing to put in the time to create significant relationships either. But how do you fill out all those sentimental questions without scaring women away? Simple. Be confident, but not arrogant. You can talk about yourself. This is the place to do it. I don’t want to read a profile about how great your pastimes are or your dog; I want to read about you. But don’t go too far. I don’t want to read a list of medals you’ve won, the kilometers you’ve run, or the mountains you’ve climbed. Sure, you can reference them, in passing, but don’t make that the center of your profile. Perfect the balance of confident and strong without being overwhelming and prideful.

Deliberate – Last but not least; be clear in what you want. If you are only interested in sexy, skinny woman with big breasts, say that. It’s not politically correct, but I’d rather check you off the list now than try to talk to you and find it out later. You might even get one of those women to flirt with you; you never know. Maybe you’re not that extreme, but you do desire women who are shorter than you or like sports or dogs or something reasonable. Say it. Even if I’m not that type, I’ll admire you for knowing what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. Women would be better off if we did the same thing.

These three things are just little glimpses in what’s going on in a woman’s head. Women look for so many things at once that it’s not even amusing. You can’t hope to ace them all. But you can start out on the right foot by making sure you get these three things right. There are normal woman out there. The more practical and assured you are in your own profile, the more normal responses you’ll get. One last thing: if you’re not online regularly, don’t expect to get a lot of responses. You have to put time and effort in to get quality stuff out. If that’s not going to work for you, I suggest going back to the single’s bars.

Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for dating sites. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating community. She can be reached at edwardsmary936 AT

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One Response to “The Top 3 Things Women Look For in Online Dating”

  1. Jason Says:

    you site is so cool and sweet,i love it ,it’s really helped me a lot thank for the info,i love you..


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